Visiting a mother who has just given birth is an experience full of unique moments and little attentions that can really brighten the day. I still remember the first visits after the birth of my daughters. Each meeting brought its share of surprises and smiles. With a few well-chosen gestures, you can transform a simple visit into a memorable moment.
Visiting a mother who has just given birth: here are 10 ideas to avoid making mistakes!
1. Ask when is the best time to drop by, warn before arriving!
A specific memory comes to mind. I was comfortably installed on my sofa, awkwardly breastfeeding my little one, trying to adjust without yet mastering breastfeeding. It was at that very moment that a couple of friends rang the doorbell. I was stuck, it was difficult to get up with a baby stuck to my breast, and I did not yet feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of a man. So, believe me, a little message to know when to come is really essential. It avoids those moments when you are simply unable to move!
2. Offer to bring him a small dish!
Lack of sleep, lack of time, not being organized right after giving birth means that a new mother does not necessarily eat very well. A friend visited me with a box of sushi! It was absolute bliss, tenfold after having spent 9 months avoiding raw fish! If you really want to please a new mother, surprise her with her favorite dish. And if you decide to cook it yourself, you can get inspiration recipes to boost collagen or vitamin-rich cauliflower .
3. Give a gift to mom
After giving birth, the baby takes up all the space. He becomes our center of interest, but also that of family, friends and visitors. After being the center of attention for 9 months, it is often a little difficult for the mother to be relegated. Giving her a little attention will always be welcome! And don't hesitate to ask her how she is and especially to tell her that she looks great!
4. Wash your hands when you arrive
Let's not kid ourselves, after my daughters were born, I was super attentive to everything that might be hanging around in the air. So, when my friends headed straight to the bathroom to wash their hands, it was a relief. They understood! It may seem trivial, but it's a thoughtful gesture that shows that you're taking care of the baby... and that you're respecting the new house rules. Plus, who doesn't like a good hand wash with the pleasant smell of fresh soap?
5. Do not touch or kiss baby until instructed to do so!
I still remember the grannies in the street or at the supermarket who would stop over the stroller to pinch my newborn's cheek! It drove me crazy! Even if you are not a stranger to this beautiful baby, ask if you can touch him and avoid kissing him. As a new mother, we appreciate that gestures around the baby are done gently, and only if we invite you to do so. It's true, he is very cute, but wait until the mother gives you the green light. A simple smile while asking the question is often enough to reassure everyone!
6. Do not give advice without first being asked.
Ah, unsolicited advice... This is the hardest part, especially for me as a two-time mom who loves to show off... I always want to share my experience, tips, etc. It comes from a good place, but it's often overwhelming and not very helpful. Sometimes all a new mom needs is a listening ear, not a list of tips to try. Trust me, she's heard tons of them! If she needs advice, she'll ask for it, if not, a little silent support is often the best help.
7. Offer to watch the baby while she takes a shower
Washing your hair… the Holy Grail for all mothers in the first few weeks after giving birth. I remember it like it was yesterday: the first shower after hours (or days!) of taking care of baby. When a visiting friend offered to watch my daughter so I could finally have a real moment of relaxation, it was a blessing. Ten short minutes under hot water can sometimes be enough to recharge the batteries. If you feel comfortable with baby, it is one of the most beautiful things you can offer a new mother. She will be forever grateful!
8. Offer to help with housework or shopping
I remember one time a friend offered to tidy up the kitchen while I took a break with my little one on my lap. Honestly, I was over the moon. It's a gesture that makes all the difference! No need for big demonstrations or reorganizing the house, just a little help here and there can be a huge relief. Washing up, putting away a few things, going to the supermarket... Simple gestures, but so effective in lightening the daily grind.
9. Don't stay too long
It’s really hard not to intrude when you’re around a newborn. They’re so cute, they smell good, and they’re so calm in their cosy. You want to stay there and watch their tiny fingers! It’s always a pleasure to see friends or family, but there are also times when you just need to find some peace and quiet (or sleep!). When you feel the mum start looking at the clock or the baby start to squirm, it might be a sign that it’s time to leave. Offer to come back another day, this will ensure that you’re always welcome!
Hoping that your visits are sweet and bring comfort to mothers! Do not hesitate to share your experiences or other gestures that you have appreciated as a mother or that have made you happy.
Have a nice visit!
Celine
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